I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize