Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
