Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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