apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
