high people should be assigned attendants
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize