I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
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