What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
