I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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