it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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