Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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