Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
