he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
