Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
