dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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