He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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