I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
