It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
