I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We are all done wearing pants today
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
