I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
