Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
