CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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