I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
