your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
