Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
