I just made out with a guy for $7.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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