that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
