I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
