Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
