If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The air was thick with penises
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
