she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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