Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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