Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
