Dual....:-)
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
