So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he shaved USA in his pubs
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize