dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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