Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
