She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
