Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
