The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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