? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize