I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
