my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
