I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I want to fling myself into the sun
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
