don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
