You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
