Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
should my penis look like a turkey
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
