The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
