I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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