how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
