ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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