i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
