Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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