I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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