One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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