i need an iv and a liver transplant
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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