So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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