i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Found your dick twin last night
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Randomize
