we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize