is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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