3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
