Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
